I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
barbara walters just said penis...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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