I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
