We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
