If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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