god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
