After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize