And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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