ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
