Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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