he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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