How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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