She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
