at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
