Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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