The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
