who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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