I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
