i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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