I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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