i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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