This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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