I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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