Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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