We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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