i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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