Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
