I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
