I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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