Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
