I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
