She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
