quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
