The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
