Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
