I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
