He kissed a someone with a penis
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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