honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize