Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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