She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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