4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
