I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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