is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
