Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
