hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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