But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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