Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
