i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
