If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
