you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
