My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
