i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
