White coat. Heels.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
