So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
