I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
