We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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