i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
