i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
