Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sorry about my life...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
