Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
