Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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