They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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